During a chat this week with Janet Borzelleri, she related a story about a workshop that took place at her school. Teachers role-played the various adults who cross paths with a child in a typical day: parents, bus drivers, teachers, playground monitors, crossing guards, store clerks, etc. Each teacher said one of the typical things we've all said to our (or someone else's) child: "Why can't you get up on time? Now I'm going to be late for work!" and "Why are you always so loud on the bus?" and "You're late every day to my classroom." As the comments - which didn't seem huge by themselves - piled up on each other, their possible impact on a child became apparent to the teachers. Afterward, they practiced saying a positive thing in place of the critical or negative statement.
This story has stuck with me since Janet told me. When my teen comes home and one of the first things out of my mouth is about the pile of books and clothing he's left on the living room floor for a week, should I be surprised at how hard he takes the comment? At how he tells me that he's under a lot of pressure and doesn't need to hear that just then? My comment is only one, but it's one of many he's heard throughout the day. . . along with the judgmental ones he's telling himself along the way.
Janet's experience in that exercise has caused me to reflect on how I talk to my nearest and dearest - and how I talk to myself! The negative statements that express how a particular action or circumstance leaves something to be desired sure seem to tumble out easily, don't they?
Angie's workshop last week was a study in putting affirmations of our experience, talents and strengths on paper for prospective employers to see. It was a boost to my self-image, for sure. Maybe we need to freshen up our résumés for ourselves periodically, just to be reminded of how far we've come and how much we've learned along the way.
Practice some positive self-talk this week, and find a good thing or two to say about (and to!) the people around you. As Martha Stewart would say, "It's a good thing."
Let's talk more about this at BTW on Friday at Erica's Creative Space!
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Monday, April 2, 2012
A BTW Gener8: Spring Clean your Resume!
If you really think about it, whether you like to clean or not, spring cleaning is something to celebrate. It opens up your space, refreshes, and renews your sense of place and purpose. You might actually like your space again.
Spring Cleaning can apply to just about any aspect of your life.
How about your resume? Have you given it a spring cleaning lately?
Yes, that’s right. Your resume. When was the last time you looked at it?
Looking at your resume on a annual basis is important, in fact critical.
And the best time to look at your resume and refresh it, is when you DON”T need it.
A resume refresh can be a celebration!
Yes, a celebration.
Think about it: this is an official document.
It validates your life’s journey whatever it may be in this season:
• a stay at home mom
• an entrepreneur
• a professional with more than 15 years of steady work.
The resume documents your journey: the actions, accomplishments, courses of study, acquisition of new life skills and knowledge by choice or circumstance.
Giving yourself time to bring your resume up to date BEFORE you need it is the best gift to give yourself. You have time to carefully evaluate and identify your accomplishments. It really is a time of reflection and celebration. And this is so true: if you don’t do it,who will?
I have learned over the years through experience and from picking up the tips and tricks of the trade to have two resumes. One that is ‘market ready’ and one that is an on-going chronological document of work experience, employment addresses and residential addresses.
The chronological resume documents all I have done. Literally, the names of supervisors, phone numbers, addresses of the job sites I worked at, job description, the amount I earned at the start of the job and the amount I earned when I finished the job, promotions, peer awards or employment acknowledgments, etc. The market ready one is the one I use to match my approach to the need of the job description, or as in my most recent case, the prompt to an essay.
In this global economy, so many of us have several employer addresses, with over 10 different professional work experiences. Personally, my volunteer experiences are over 8 pages in length. I often get my job interview opportunities through volunteer experiences.
The market ready one is usually a ‘one page’ snap shot and it is my task as the job seeker to match that snap shot as best I can. With these two documents the administrative part of the job seeking process-- filling out applications, etc-- is much easier.
Remember, the resume and application process is an elimination process for the employer.
Having all your job description in one place allows you to match the key words used in the application without struggle or misrepresentation.
I noticed it was time to refresh my resume when I received an opportunity to submit an application that required an essay and a resume that summarized the last 10 years of volunteer experiences. The ‘classic opportunity’ just ‘popped up’. I was not looking, and for a few minutes I toyed with not applying. At first blush, this opportunity seemed way outside my comfort zone. I last updated my resume in June 2010. In my current phase of life, I have been so busy volunteering and mentoring, I have not stopped to update my document. I needed a day to get my records up to date and then another day working on the documentation for this most recent opportunity. Fortunately, I had a bit of time for this before the deadline, that is not always the case.
This process made me realize it is time for resume review party for all the fabulous women I meet in this journey called life. I really enjoy the process of getting my accomplishments and new skills documented when I am not under pressure.
I also notice when I am enjoying the process, I can appreciate myself, formulate where I want to go and what I want to do next in terms of personal and professional development. Yes, even in this economy, there is choice. For those of you who are in a place of worry due to lack of employment I propose you join us and use the refresh as a time to reevaluate how you have been going about the job search. In this job market the best way to get a job is to network with others who can help you get connected to a job interview. The job search is for all of us, to connect each other to those we know with a need to fill.
And BTW, this is what we do best: support and encourage achievement.
Now those are life/work skills to celebrate and document!
Join us!
BTW Gener8
Spring Resume Refresh
April 17, 2012
6:00 pm - 9:00 pm
Location: The Yuba Sutter Arts Council Conference Room
630 E Street Marysville, CA 95901
RSVP: Angie Woodrow
Sunday, April 1, 2012
April 1st update (no fooling!)
Greetings!
Happy April Fools' Day! Who got fooled today? Tell us about it in a comment below!
After a quiet March for BTW - capped by a fun games night at Barb Smith's house - we're gearing up for a fulfilling April. Each request for a BTW gathering is energizing and inspiring; it feels like marching orders. Here's where we plan to march this April (ouch):
April 14 - Saturday morning, 9am-noon: ACTU8! - Location TBD
For those of you who haven't attended an ACTU8 yet, it's a fun, "git 'er done" work session where we gather with our own projects and work next to each other for 3 hours to power through something that's been hanging over us because we can't seem to finish it. Ask someone's advice, get some inspiration, talk about what's on your heart, eat some snacks, and walk out the door with a completed project. Your project can be anything you can carry to the ACTU8! Thank-you notes, scrapbooks, quilt blocks, files, boxes of unsorted photos, jewelry, etc., etc.
Erica's Creative Space will be unavailable that day, so we're looking for another location. Offers? Please RSVP on the BTW Facebook page or by email as a courtesy to the hostess (the mystery hostess, at this point).
April 17 - Tuesday evening, 6-9pm: GENER8! - Yuba-Sutter Arts Council Room
This is a "Résumé Refresh" workshop, led by business coach Angie Woodrow. Angie will be sending out an announcement and invitation to this event, which is timely for many of us. Even if you're not actively seeking a job right now, this can be a helpful workshop to attend. As Angie says, the best time to update your résumé is when you're not looking for a job. But this workshop will cover much more than just filling in the blanks of a written document. Plan to attend, and bring a friend who wants to polish her professional presentation!
April 27 - Friday evening, 6:30-8:30 - BTW Gathering - Erica's Creative Space
This is the heart of Between the Women: small get-togethers where friendships are started and deepened, troubles and joys are shared, and new ideas and people are introduced into each BTW group. This month, bring along your current favorite book - one that's made an impact on you - and let's discuss it. Some of us are reading The Necklace, thanks to Janet Borzelleri's mention of it at a recent BTW gathering. If you've read it and have a copy to share, please bring!
The Magic Basket
If you've got something for our ongoing Magic Basket effort, please bring it to one of these events! When we've got enough to send out a basket or two, we'll put them together, add a note, and send them secretly to someone who's going through a difficult time or who could just use a sweet boost from anonymous friends. Right now we have a goodie bag from Kathy Childers, a Mary Kay hand care kit from Eivor Pfannkuch, and some handy household items from Vicki Hubbs (soaps and instant noodles). Thank you!
Okay. . . These are the scheduled BTW events for April. By the way, Barb's spur-of-the-moment games night, which was open to all BTW attendees, was a blast; it was a wonderful offshoot of the whole BTW concept. We look forward to many such get-togethers, where BTW members take the reins and host their BTW friends! :-)
Look for Angie's more detailed description of the upcoming GENER8!
Happy new week, all!
Happy April Fools' Day! Who got fooled today? Tell us about it in a comment below!
After a quiet March for BTW - capped by a fun games night at Barb Smith's house - we're gearing up for a fulfilling April. Each request for a BTW gathering is energizing and inspiring; it feels like marching orders. Here's where we plan to march this April (ouch):
April 14 - Saturday morning, 9am-noon: ACTU8! - Location TBD
For those of you who haven't attended an ACTU8 yet, it's a fun, "git 'er done" work session where we gather with our own projects and work next to each other for 3 hours to power through something that's been hanging over us because we can't seem to finish it. Ask someone's advice, get some inspiration, talk about what's on your heart, eat some snacks, and walk out the door with a completed project. Your project can be anything you can carry to the ACTU8! Thank-you notes, scrapbooks, quilt blocks, files, boxes of unsorted photos, jewelry, etc., etc.
Erica's Creative Space will be unavailable that day, so we're looking for another location. Offers? Please RSVP on the BTW Facebook page or by email as a courtesy to the hostess (the mystery hostess, at this point).
April 17 - Tuesday evening, 6-9pm: GENER8! - Yuba-Sutter Arts Council Room
This is a "Résumé Refresh" workshop, led by business coach Angie Woodrow. Angie will be sending out an announcement and invitation to this event, which is timely for many of us. Even if you're not actively seeking a job right now, this can be a helpful workshop to attend. As Angie says, the best time to update your résumé is when you're not looking for a job. But this workshop will cover much more than just filling in the blanks of a written document. Plan to attend, and bring a friend who wants to polish her professional presentation!
April 27 - Friday evening, 6:30-8:30 - BTW Gathering - Erica's Creative Space
This is the heart of Between the Women: small get-togethers where friendships are started and deepened, troubles and joys are shared, and new ideas and people are introduced into each BTW group. This month, bring along your current favorite book - one that's made an impact on you - and let's discuss it. Some of us are reading The Necklace, thanks to Janet Borzelleri's mention of it at a recent BTW gathering. If you've read it and have a copy to share, please bring!
The Magic Basket
If you've got something for our ongoing Magic Basket effort, please bring it to one of these events! When we've got enough to send out a basket or two, we'll put them together, add a note, and send them secretly to someone who's going through a difficult time or who could just use a sweet boost from anonymous friends. Right now we have a goodie bag from Kathy Childers, a Mary Kay hand care kit from Eivor Pfannkuch, and some handy household items from Vicki Hubbs (soaps and instant noodles). Thank you!
Okay. . . These are the scheduled BTW events for April. By the way, Barb's spur-of-the-moment games night, which was open to all BTW attendees, was a blast; it was a wonderful offshoot of the whole BTW concept. We look forward to many such get-togethers, where BTW members take the reins and host their BTW friends! :-)
Look for Angie's more detailed description of the upcoming GENER8!
Happy new week, all!
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
A tisket - a tasket: the story of the BTW Baske
Recall Between the Women: A year long process of creating and discovering. We use our large and small groups to re- energize, gain personal insight and allow our creative self to be recharged. We use our hands, heads and hearts to illuminate the path we are on in this season of our life.
When we gather to talk, crea8, actu8 or genr8 we are making time to energize our souls.
BTW is a place and space for us to remember to actually put the oil in. You know, like the mask on the airplane, and the toilet paper on the roll. You actually have to do this for yourself. How often is this scenario a part of your day? (note:the word ‘oil’ can be changed to any concern of the moment)
Well.....I remembered to buy the ‘oil’ but then I ran out of time and did not put the oil in the lamp....it is in here somewhere...it is just so dark I can’t see the bottle to fill the lamp back up....Unfortunately, we all know this scenario well. We also know what a joyous feeling it is to get the oil into the lamp. We actually will do the ‘happy dance’ when we are filled. It is such a relief when this occurs more than once in a while.
In BTW, we noticed getting together intentionally to discover, to connect and to celebrate created an energy we wanted to be able to share. But what, and how with our time and talents already maxed out?
Enter the basket. It is a our vessel to fill.
Members of BTW fill it up with what ever they like.
Sometimes it soup, sometimes it is pretty paper napkins, or stationary & a few stamps, lotion, a scarf, a hand made gift ...something simple. One basket, once a month. And, when all our efforts are put together it creates an amazing energy.
We do not really know how it effects the recipient as we are doing this in an anonymous way. We have been know to ring the door bell and run. We know how good it feels to be recharged...and so we simply cannot resist the desire to share this with others. We also notice that the basket is overflowing, never lacking, as we all work on contributing to filling it up. A very concrete reminder for all of us to continue to use our hands, heads and hearts to illuminate the path we are on in this season of our life.
Thursday, March 8, 2012
A Funny Thing Happened on the Way. . .
Has it really been more than a month since our last post?! YIKES! EEK! And c'est la vie!
A funny thing happened on the way to our next gathering. . .
Actually, lots of things happened, and the actu8 that Angie and I scheduled for March 10 isn't actu8ing after all. Instead, I'd like to take a few minutes to catch up with each of you via our BTW blog. Feel free to respond on the blog, on the BTW Facebook page, or by email - or phone, letter, surprise visit, etc.
As most of you know, Angie - after telling us at the last BTW evening about her anxiety over dental visits - had a dental visit followed by a severe physical reaction. So severe that she went to the ER, was administered heavy-duty pain meds, and has been taking follow-up physical therapy. Angie, we love you and are holding you up in prayer and warm thoughts! Meanwhile, she and I have continued to communicate about what BTW is shaping up to be, how excited we are, and how the road ahead looks to be filled with opportunities for friendship, growth and service.
Also in the meantime, I went to LA for a few days to babysit our youngest grandchild and brought him home for almost a week, followed by a sinus infection (for me) that may have come about through exhaustion and a flagging immune system. What we do to ourselves, right?
ALSO in the meantime, I've met an amazing, giving lady in Yuba City who funnels food to people in need (she goes around and collects it from local grocery stores, etc., sending very outdated food to folks with farm animals), takes in pets slated for destruction at a local shelter and finds new homes for them, and does other generous stuff. She is now sending food my way and telling me to do whatever I think is a good idea with it.
I have an idea. . .
Much of the produce and bread need to go straight into the freezer unless they're going to be eaten immediately. I'm cooking a big pot of veggie broth tonight to reduce and freeze. I got to thinking. . .
Would any of you be willing to come pick up this food occasionally, take it home and get it into the freezer in one form or another to be used later to supplement our Magic Baskets? If we included jars of homemade soup or casseroles sometimes, they could be a welcome addition to our baskets of love. Right now my freezer is stuffed with sourdough bread and other goodies that this kindly lady sent home with me. Note: She specified that I should use whatever I want to for our family. This would also go for any of you who wanted to help prepare and store this food.
I can continue picking up the boxes of food with our pickup. When necessary, I would put out a call for someone to take a turn picking up the food from here and deciding what to do with it. I'd sort through it first and toss really old/messy items to our chickens, etc.
Eivor Pfannkuch and Kathy Childers have sent home lovely bags of goodies for our next basket. Let's set a date of April 1st to have the next basket/baskets stocked and ready to be delivered. Do we have a nomination for someone in need of a Magic Basket?
Even though our momentum slowed due to other commitments, we are excited to keep moving forward with BTW. Please stay tuned for an imminent communication with dates for our next BTW meeting and "8" opportunities!
And, because our last round robin of email updates about what each of us has been doing since our last meeting was such a treat to read, I will start a new round robin tonight!
Warm hug to each of you. I miss you!
Erica
A funny thing happened on the way to our next gathering. . .
Actually, lots of things happened, and the actu8 that Angie and I scheduled for March 10 isn't actu8ing after all. Instead, I'd like to take a few minutes to catch up with each of you via our BTW blog. Feel free to respond on the blog, on the BTW Facebook page, or by email - or phone, letter, surprise visit, etc.
As most of you know, Angie - after telling us at the last BTW evening about her anxiety over dental visits - had a dental visit followed by a severe physical reaction. So severe that she went to the ER, was administered heavy-duty pain meds, and has been taking follow-up physical therapy. Angie, we love you and are holding you up in prayer and warm thoughts! Meanwhile, she and I have continued to communicate about what BTW is shaping up to be, how excited we are, and how the road ahead looks to be filled with opportunities for friendship, growth and service.
Also in the meantime, I went to LA for a few days to babysit our youngest grandchild and brought him home for almost a week, followed by a sinus infection (for me) that may have come about through exhaustion and a flagging immune system. What we do to ourselves, right?
ALSO in the meantime, I've met an amazing, giving lady in Yuba City who funnels food to people in need (she goes around and collects it from local grocery stores, etc., sending very outdated food to folks with farm animals), takes in pets slated for destruction at a local shelter and finds new homes for them, and does other generous stuff. She is now sending food my way and telling me to do whatever I think is a good idea with it.
I have an idea. . .
Much of the produce and bread need to go straight into the freezer unless they're going to be eaten immediately. I'm cooking a big pot of veggie broth tonight to reduce and freeze. I got to thinking. . .
Would any of you be willing to come pick up this food occasionally, take it home and get it into the freezer in one form or another to be used later to supplement our Magic Baskets? If we included jars of homemade soup or casseroles sometimes, they could be a welcome addition to our baskets of love. Right now my freezer is stuffed with sourdough bread and other goodies that this kindly lady sent home with me. Note: She specified that I should use whatever I want to for our family. This would also go for any of you who wanted to help prepare and store this food.
I can continue picking up the boxes of food with our pickup. When necessary, I would put out a call for someone to take a turn picking up the food from here and deciding what to do with it. I'd sort through it first and toss really old/messy items to our chickens, etc.
Eivor Pfannkuch and Kathy Childers have sent home lovely bags of goodies for our next basket. Let's set a date of April 1st to have the next basket/baskets stocked and ready to be delivered. Do we have a nomination for someone in need of a Magic Basket?
Even though our momentum slowed due to other commitments, we are excited to keep moving forward with BTW. Please stay tuned for an imminent communication with dates for our next BTW meeting and "8" opportunities!
And, because our last round robin of email updates about what each of us has been doing since our last meeting was such a treat to read, I will start a new round robin tonight!
Warm hug to each of you. I miss you!
Erica
Monday, February 6, 2012
Putting New Knowledge to Work. . .
We've held our first cre8 session!
Yesterday, Susan Bell (a.k.a. Susan Decor) held a workshop at her home to teach a group of us the basics of using Annie Sloan Chalk Paints. She was patient, humorous, humble and informative. We each left the workshop with a goodie bag of painted samples, supplies and instructions, and some of us bought paints and waxes from her as well - the sample jars of paint specially priced!
Not only did we learn a lot about a few techniques, but we filled the time painting with news, stories about ourselves, plans for transforming items at home, and inspiration for each other. Eivor, for example, showed us photos of her beautiful, light-filled kitchen in her home in Sweden. Gorgeous! It was really intriguing to see what a difference a coat of light-colored paint could bring to a dark space.
Hmm. . .
My longtime friend Mary, visiting for the weekend, joined BTW for this workshop and came away talking about what a wonderful group of women I know in this area. I have to agree.
These pictures are of a table I painted today, applying some of the techniques I learned yesterday from Susan. I am NOT a skilled painter, but this paint makes people like me look good. :-) I guess that's what good friends do, too, come to think of it.
This table was dark brown before I started painting. I left the underside of the bottom shelf unpainted to remember how it looked and to preserve a little history, as this table came to me from my parents' home. Old and new together can result in a unique beauty.
Happy new week, ladies!
Erica
Yesterday, Susan Bell (a.k.a. Susan Decor) held a workshop at her home to teach a group of us the basics of using Annie Sloan Chalk Paints. She was patient, humorous, humble and informative. We each left the workshop with a goodie bag of painted samples, supplies and instructions, and some of us bought paints and waxes from her as well - the sample jars of paint specially priced!
Not only did we learn a lot about a few techniques, but we filled the time painting with news, stories about ourselves, plans for transforming items at home, and inspiration for each other. Eivor, for example, showed us photos of her beautiful, light-filled kitchen in her home in Sweden. Gorgeous! It was really intriguing to see what a difference a coat of light-colored paint could bring to a dark space.
Hmm. . .
My longtime friend Mary, visiting for the weekend, joined BTW for this workshop and came away talking about what a wonderful group of women I know in this area. I have to agree.
These pictures are of a table I painted today, applying some of the techniques I learned yesterday from Susan. I am NOT a skilled painter, but this paint makes people like me look good. :-) I guess that's what good friends do, too, come to think of it.
This table was dark brown before I started painting. I left the underside of the bottom shelf unpainted to remember how it looked and to preserve a little history, as this table came to me from my parents' home. Old and new together can result in a unique beauty.
Happy new week, ladies!
Erica
Monday, January 16, 2012
WHY
BTW…celebrating perseverance is a great energy booster!
I had the privilege to sit still and enjoy the company of some pretty amazing women the other evening. We were winding down after the usual slam –jam week. You know, the one that occurs after being blissfully lulled into a different rhythm due to the holidays.
We used these conversation cards to help us get started in an effort to acknowledge the good and the bad in a truthful way. (What? Women who need help getting a conversation started...really?) Getting a chance to speak authentically is enriching and energizing.
Susan shared with us her adventure to launch a business. A resourceful, creative woman choose to confront the inevitable change in job (the position is being phase out), trying to hang on to the remnants of a career until retirement, and balance her commitment to her family to stay finically solvent, while being authentic. No small order. But what the heck, women are known for taking on insurmountable orders. (Note to self: A good reason why it is important to make a point of regularly sitting still and reflecting.)
What did she do? She started an amazing, fun business restoring furniture. She is like a magician with old stuff discarded on the side of the road. I can’t begin to fathom all the details of restored furniture. I just like to sit in it and enjoy the end results. For Susan, restoring old discarded furniture, making it beautiful again, and helping others learn how to restore furniture in this simple process makes her happy. When she shared with us her WHY, an amazing process took place: she remembered and got excited again about her journey.
In a few ticks of the clock she was energized and ready to take on a new challenge. Running her own workshops. She knew this was always the plan, and she got excited and energized again. It is a beautiful thing to be a part of a group that holds someone accountable to their excitement and their adventure.
Here are a few pictures of her finished projects ( remember, this was old discarded stuff!)
It is why we need to hear ourselves state our WHY to others frequently. It is better than a warm security blanket and in some cases it is a hug of encouragement to hear ourselves talk about what we are passionate about amidst all the chaos.
And that is WHY we are having these discussions BETWEEN THE WOMEN.
We need to be able to celebrate perseverance, to be inspired for when we ourselves need to persevere and get energized. WE need to be ready for all the wonderment spun from what appears to be slam -jam weeks of chaos.
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